When I meet people these days, I often hear, “you’re so calm” or “you’re the happiest/most positive person I’ve met.”

It always takes me by surprise-in my mind, I’m still the storm I was for so many years- that struggle is so real to me, and a constant battle I fight-

this choice that we always have in life-

we give each and every moment meaning

How will you look and look back at your life?

It’s the same reason I write.

I was in a storm for half my life.

Until I began to see how I was creating it –

I took my closed umbrella and pointed it at the sky

Motioned the sunlight into the rain and moved the lightning out of sight

And then my umbrella that had never worked suddenly burst open

I stood there, in the shade of my own light

I’d been as unstable as the weather this whole time. No umbrella. No control. The lack of being able to change it- it all changed me.

What you see in the eye of the storm changes your life. All you have to do is decide to make the journey. Decide to be real and honest with yourself. It’s a choice that requires more courage than anything else in your life- to be honest with yourself.

It was eye-opening.

To put an end to my own suffering.